Thursday, May 29, 2003

I got my grades today. It was exactly what I expected, A's in gen 2, calc 2, and hons comp and a B in chem. My first B came in this subject which I was supposed to be good at:-(. I don't know what went wrong. My quizzes and lab got my score down, i just wish he took the best of the answers, that would have improve my score dramatically. But there is no point thinking about this. I was unwilling to go get my scores, rather live without knowing how I did, but I know its stupid to think like that. And seems like my lunch has made my tummy grumble, Ramen, you suck! but maybe it wasnt cooked the right way....
I wonder how my friends are doing now. Mary should be on her way to Seattle, i dont know how long that drive is. Kristin is swim coaching, and painting houses. Jeshica, Rishav and Komal are working. Jessi is working at a hardware store, I don't know for sure what Tara is doing, Michelle's at a frat house for the summer. Jenna will be going to a christian camp as a counselor I think but before that she's coming back to Coe for an Alumni event next weekend. I will be spending time with her then as far as I know.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

I went up to Deanna to find out how the bookings for various events were going on and if I got the summer RA job for the japanese students during the month of august. I did get the job and now I must see what the responsibilities are.. That should be really interesting experience..And the money although little should help, I really wanna start spending my own money instead of dad's. I think his money should be used for necessities only not luxuries. My lunch and dinner turned out to be the leftovers from yesterday's pizza. I spent most of the afternoon perusing the web for alternate accomadations for the fall break Chicago trip. I just realized that the amount of the money we had for the lodging is not adequate. This absolutely sucks! I need to go in and talk to Joanna and get suggestions. I need the help in this matter and there is no one here for it. Katie and Lisa's sky high wall impossible to get over, so aloof! And Carla, I just don't know sometimes. All of them have authority issues. Anyway, on a brighter note I did talk to my parents for a long time. We have discussing shopping again, seems like we are getting some big things now, dvd player, digital camera, camcorder (maybe), and a notebook for office but I guess for personal use as well. And I got Lara's email, seems like I just have been unlucky in getting a hold of her.. Saadia stayed over in my room because she didnt want to stay in the ghetto apartment with Tapi. Apparently she doesnt mind sleeping on the carpet, poor thing, she slept amidst the mess in my room..

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Today's moving day into summer dorm housing. I jus went to the res life office but they won't let us move in till 4 today. Yesterday I went to a resturaunt called Metro Buffet, they have good food and a lot of it for just ten bucks.. just imagine how boring this day was.. The night was better, i talked to Kristin for a long time, feels good to talk to friends, this is as good as it will get over these months. I also discovered Mary's gift later in the evening. I was soo happy to get it, sunshine brightened my day up! I must call to talk to her today sometime. I called Lara again and the call got disconnected again. I really dont know what is going on........

Monday, May 26, 2003

Sunday, the day when the last of my friends left for home, especially my two best friends, Mary and Kristin. I gave big hugs because I wouldn't be seeing them for more than 3 months....I am sorely going to miss them, already am and it hasn't even been a day. Feels like I am addicted to them but in a good sort of a way, they have been an integral part of my freshman year during this last semester.. I am so glad I got to know them this semester. I also saw Michelle, Kari, Tara, Jenna and Liz leave as well. Although Jenna will be back on 6th to stay here for a couple of days. Post 4 PM, the entire campus went dead.. I think there are around 40 people left maybe from the original 1000.. NOrmally when I had free time, I would be spending it with Mary and Kristin, but now they are not there and I can't think of anything fun to do..

Friday, May 23, 2003

And two days later, my life as a freshman is over. By 2.30, I was done with my physics final and got out to smell the air of freedom for 10 days before research starts. Day of sadness for all most of my friends left..and more leaving Sunday..Im yet to think about ways to spend the week before research. Day started off fine..prepared my cheat sheet for the physics final and then went on to lunch. I finally shaved and tamed my hair, and dressed better for once..I was there at lunch for an hour and a half because I wouldnt be seeing some of the people before I was done. I gave her a hug wishing her a great summer.. Its the last time I saw her before she would be back in August. I didnt see Jeshica before she left nor did I see Rieko before she left. Then gave my final test and I was done!! Kit and me went to Best Buy and bought a DVD player for the summer. I saw the Matrix Reloaded as well, that is one kick ass movie (quite literally)!! And that was the day..

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday went in a blur. I studied most of the time in my room except Monday evening. I think everyone who know Japanese people well are realizing that they will be gone from their lives. Its finally beginning to set in that they might never see each other again. Among my friends, they are going to miss HIromi and Nobu the most, while I am going to miss Miho, Rieko and Aqui the most. Another person who might not be coming back is Mary, she's become a very good friend over the last 2 months and having been spending time hanging out with her.. I am goign to sorely miss that. I studied all tuesday and finally finished around 10. I went over to voorhees thinking that I would be there for 10 mins to see how they were doing. I ended up getting back at 1! I had to help Tara and Jenna study for a while, and accompany Jenna to the Sip because her friends were going to sing karoake. Bhavya hasnt come online during the weekend, but I think she is busy taking care of her mom..
Now, I am waiting to take 2 finals today, chem and calc..I hope they go good..

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Saturday started at 10 in the morning because I had to do laundry. Laundry is too protacted, too much of waiting around, and then there is folding of the clothes to prevent creases. Weather is truly funny here, rains and then gets sunny in the same day..I spent time in Jessi's room today for a while after sometime. First time in sometime I found all of them free and not busy simultaneously. I also talked to Tapi for a long time, I see now why people can talk to her so easily. She actually listens without cutting you off, rareity nowaday. Jessi went home to drop stuff off. I went to Best Buy because she had to get her computer serviced since its was going bonkers. She somehow controlled herself yesterday, she was ready to put a bullet hole through it. After Best Buy, went shopping for her bro's gift for his communion which in turn inculded some of her own shopping too. 2 and a half hours later, we headed back stopping to eat at Big Mikes. They have excellent subs there, better than Subway! I think this is the first time I got to spend time with Jessi for so long. It felt kinda nice because she was my first friend in Voorhees, first american to accept me the way I was. I am glad that Mary was having a good time with her friend who was visiting her from home. At 10, when I get to hickok, people there had a sudden urge for ice cream. so 10 of us head to Hy-vee to buy ice cream and then eat them together. I went over to Mary's to meet her friend. I got back to my room at 3 to see a party going on in the room. Girls were half drunk already, there were around 9 people in that small room falling over each other. Girls are so loose when drunk, they behave differently under influence. some smoke, some touch, some become way too horny! I can't help but worry about them but since they dont like that, i try really hard not to care..sadly, it doesnt happen..4.30 they begin heading back. Some with company and some without. Some got their asses for the night. Im happy for them, atleast I think I should be..or maybe..
Friday, last day of classes for this semester. After freshening up, I gave finishing touches to my essay for Paul's anthology. Then went to the chem class which was adjourned quickly since we didn't have anything to discuss in class. I moved around on first Peterson for 45 mins to kill time. and then we had the physics class, 60 full minutes to give us the taste of modern physics to entice more people to take the class, like it would actually work?!? one full class of intereference, photoelectric effect, sub atomic particles. I am really interested in the nano and sub atomic world.. After lunch, I went back to my room. I took my papers and went to the writing center. Got both mine and Des's paper reviewed for grammatical errors. Everytime I take these papers in here, they invoke atleast an hour of discussion. Writing center has a great group of students who are extremely well informed and intelligent and who are willing to participate in discussion about different topics such as college life or faith. I then left the writing center and gave the papers to Doc for comments. I went to Jon so that I could make up the quiz that I had missed when I was at Nashville. but Jon said that he didnt want me to rush the quiz and take it after the class. So, I sat through the entire review class or rather a class where students decided what they wanted in the final.. I dont know why Jon gives us so much of choice! They didn't want some of the most simple integration types on the quiz, somethings that could be useful during Calc 3. I dont understand why people are so intimidated by intellectually stimulating questions, whats the point of having an easy mundane class. I blogged for thursday during this class occasionally looking up to see if anythign important was being said like what wouldn't be on the test and so I didnot have to read up on that before the test. As usual, all of us walked over to Peterson for the weekly physics ice cream social. Yummm, the ice cream that we have there are simply toooo good. and then I and Des had a dicussion about our papers. I had to wait for about 45 mins because Doc and Mario were busy with a student's Oral exam which is required for the major. When I reached my room, I got Jessi's panicked message that her computer was going bonkers. So, I rushed there because I knew that she would start crying soon. When I reached their room, sure enough she was on the verge of tears. Her computer didnt save her work for the last three days ie all her papers and honr comp work as well! I tried fixing it but it was far too sluggish to do any diagnostics. I spent the rest of the evening with Mary. I really enjoyed the evening and I think I got to know her better and open up more. All in all, this day was as good as it could get.

Friday, May 16, 2003

Thursday: I have to wake up at 7.15 because physics lab had to be made up. So, I took my daily 30 min shower and made it to class right on time. We did the last experiment, Diffraction and microscope. It was a pretty short lab and I was out pretty early. I got to honors comp early and the class was adjourned quickly too since we didn't have much to do. My anthology is due by monday by the latest. When I got back to my room, I found Bhavya waiting online for me. I was really happy because I could finally chat with her. But when she told me that I shouldn't have sent the bracelet. From that point on, my happiness level for that day was bad enough with the chem lab quiz, it just slipped down many more levels.
*She has been the only permanent feature among my friends for the last 4 years. I really care a lot about her and don't know what my life would be like without her. I sent the charmed bracelet because I wanted to, I know it was not needed. It was meant to serve as a kind of friendship bracelet. I thought it would perk her up more seeing the bracelet along with the card. I don't think it served its purpose though and that made me sad.*
This has been one of the two only chats with her that has brought me down so much, the first one in October. Rest of the day I was downcast and lethargic. Some of my friends did notice my behavior but didnt say anything about it. I then had my lab quiz at 1 PM. Got checked out and finished my lab quiz. I dont know how this quiz went, I already know that one of them is not right:(. After that I just wanted to relax and get my mind offa things. So, I went searching for friends who were free to do something after 2. But there was no one, girls in voorhees were sleeping, others were studying. So, I went back to my room and borrowed the Matrix to psyche myself up for the sequel. I talked to my parents and they sent me the final editted paper. and then Mary came online and I told her to get me if she didn't find her roomie. At 5.10, she came and then we went off for dinner. We then got back to her room and downloaded Bend it like Beckham from my computer. It turned out to be quite some work to get the movie runnning ranging from updating media player and downloading codecs. 30 minutes later, we got the movie running but in the first 20 mins, it froze twice. how irritating! So, we watched Grosse Point Blanke instead, pretty funny..And then Mary had to leave for a meeting. So, I left the room with her. I went over to Dows later and got some stuff printed off there. I also saw the panicked three people who were making the DVD for the class the next day. Vonni is the most perpetually hyper person I have EVER seen. True optimist, smiles even when things are down. I headed back to the room and then chatted for a while before declaring myself too tired to keep my eyes open. So ended pretty well I think.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Wednesday was one of the busiest days! I woke up by myself before the alarm went off. Cause: my apprehension before the chemistry test, my nemesis. But luckily this test was mostly standarized and it didnt seem that difficult.*sigh of relief* It took me just 30 mins to finish it. Doc's class went quick too, he seems to want to speed through everything and Ben and Kit really hate that statement Doc uses "I am dying to get to the next topic." I can't help but smile when I see their expression and rolling of eyes when we make eye contact. Our constant barrage of questions on lenses prevented Doc to finish his intended quota of teaching. Headed over to lunch and ate with Jeshica staying silent most of the time.
*Apparently I had come up in the talk these girls had and she was told that she was far too rude to me and she hurt me whenever she said something mean. The gist of the chat was that she was mean and abrasive to people she knew very well. And since I didn't like it, she would have to think before she spoke and that would prevent her to opening up to me. ie we cannot be good friends because she has to talk to me the way she talks to everyone else. I don't understand this because I am especially nice to people i know very well because they are such good friends. I would never want to say something abrasive that would turn them off. Abrasive behavior and meaness absolutely turns me off, the thing that goes through my brain is that if I can help it, i'd avoid this person. This is exactly how I feel about Stoyan and Abir, their first impression skills are so poor. Abir's first words to me were, " Get up, you faggot." and Stoyan is the most sore loser I have ever seen, I really pity that guy, says wrong stuff at the wrong time and never learns. freaking moron! I wonder why it is so hard for Jeshica to be nice to people she knows so well. I don't know if she has ever seen the look on Rishav's and Kevin's face when she uses an abrasive tone of speech.*
We then had the last new topic in calculus: Logistic eqns. While listening to him, I was also chatting with my parents regarding my essays. They are giving me feedback on how to improve my essays in my anthology. They have already sent me an editted copy of my clash of titans essay. After class, I had the Coe Diplomat meeting at 3.30. I then headed over to Tara to help her use Powerpoint for her presentation. But it didnt happen then because some people came in and started talking. I saw Jessi so stressed, I wish she gets through this fine..After dinner, I went to the lounge to watch some TV and then went back to my room. On the way, Rishi called me in his room and wanted me to have one glass of wine that was left over. So, I sat down there for a while drinking wine while watching some TV while in the background my mind kepy saying, "Go to the room and prep your lab book for the lab quiz!" and so after 10 mins, I got my books to Rishi's room and preped the book while I was there. Later, I got back to my room and while writing in the book, I realized that I needed the lab folder. I searched and searched but couldn't find it. Panic set in because this folder was very important.. I ran over to Anthony's room to see if he was there and he wasn't. Then I went to Mindy's room, thankfully she was there! I took some of the handouts to copy. Thank god for Mindy! She has saved my ass several times in chem lab because she is the only person I can run to for help and she gives it without a thought. Worked on the lab thing till 9.30. And then went to see the soccer game final between the Lambda Chi and I Club team. We lost! And then went back to Tara and then finally showed her how to use Powerpoint. She was bouncing like a kid when I told her all the stuff she could on it, lot of kid in her too.. Came back to my room and was too tired to do much. My eyes have been watery from too much of computer i think..I need to stay away from it for a while I think, summer maybe. Midnight and I crawl into bed into a world of dreams.zzzzzz

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

I helped out in the lounge cleanup. Yet again my lounge coordinator nowhere in sight, but I don't know if she knew about it. It was an hour ordeal, but now its spanking clean. Found a lot of stuff that can be sold and added to I Club slush. A lot of stuff got scavenged and a lot more was trashed. And then Kevin, me and Deanna had a chat with Greg about our office. I told him that someone on the senate told us that the office was not yet reserved. However he said that our office has been reserved and they can't take it away from us. I am really happy about that and we get our keys in a week! yay! Got back and studied a bit more. And then took a study break and headed over to the library. Komal filled me in on the happenings in her life. I think our talk helped a bit because they talked to each other in the night. They have sorted it out I guess, I need to talk to her and find out what went on during the talk and how far relations have been repaired. And then witness to the TKE streak from Greene to Voorhees, me and Nobu were stuck at the library because the rain was coming down hard. They walked across the path with girls banked on both the sides with camera flashing like lightning. Talk about Boys Gone Wild and this is a tradition or so I am told. The moment I got to bed, Rishav and Derrick bought alcohol and started drinking while watching a movie. I wonder why on a Tuesday being a school night? Anyway, 10 minutes in the bed and I was out.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

I woke at 6.30 thinking it was 8.30 and after seeing the clock, I went back to sleep, light sleep I thought. And then I wake up at 8.30 only to realize that the alarm never went off at 7.15! I missed my physics lab! And then realized it wasnt that big a deal because Doc would let me make it up on Thursday. So, while showering, I thought about how the rest of my day would play out. I had a long and tiring day ahead of me for sure. Got to the honors comp and we workshoped some essays including Des's essay in my anthology. I got my essays back from the first review. My first essay and Des's essay were okay, just need some fine tuning. But my God-Alien essay was littered with marks for correction or clarification. *sigh* I have to put in quite some work to make this better I guess. But this is one of the essays in which I have given my personal viewpoint on something that had been nagging in the back of my mind. Yeah, what if the Almighty God is an E.T? I ate my lunch with Kristin and Mary. I am so glad they are my friends, they are one of the few people who are actually happy when I am around them, who have genuine smiles:).. And then headed back to my room and studied for the test a bit more. And then went over to Des's room to ask her to mend the essay Gordon wanted it. I feel really bad disturbing her so close to the final, but I really need it done. And sometimes I feel there is something in the tone of voice Heather and Becky talk to me in, like I have done or said something wrong. I still can't figure that out. I wonder why they withdrew so quickly since the start of the year.. While heading to Gage to check my mail, I saw Komal and Tapi talking in Stomping Grounds and Tapi was consoling her. And then it hit me, Jeshica must have said something again on the table in public. Got through the door and moment Komal saw me, she burst into tears. I hugged her and tried consoling her. I really need to talk to her and Jeshica and straighten things out. This is childish, stupid and not required before the finals! I had a long talk with Tapi and she kind of filled me into what happened. When I got back to my room, I read a bit more of chem and then Rishi some company while he was watching a movie. Then headed to the chem help session. I think it was useful, cleared up some of my doubts.But I still don't know how I'd do on the test though. Got back from the help session and now writing this blog right before I head out for dinner.
I was just at the library searching for Jessi because I had to read her paper, couldn't find her there though. I had a nice chat with Tara when I called their room from the library. These are some people I have really grown to like.. When I got to the library, I saw Stoyan and Komal talking and Komal didnt look very happy. I talked to her for a while before coming back to my room. She tells me that Jeshica said some very nasty stuff about her at the lunch table in front of everybody else (While Komal was in tears). That was plain stupid and uncalled for I think. I have never seen her this implusively stupid. She is a clam, keeps everything inside her or tells it to her guy in Nepal. And when she explodes, she can't control herself. I have seen that happen and it isn't pretty. There hostilities were underground at first and now, its all in the open. freaking moronic for this to happen at the end of the year! I am probably the happiest person apart from themselves to see that they have different roomies next year.
Tomorrow, I have a lab at 8 to look forward to, apart from preparing for my chem test on wednesday, lounge cleanup and the meeting I called for in the night. I don't know if I am looking forward to the meeting or not because I am not the person who enjoys giving a piece of my mind face to face. There are going to be uncomfortable situations but I can't handle it anymore, it definitely needs to be done.

Monday, May 12, 2003

Monday: Start of the week, another 6 days to the weekend. Thats the way most of my friends look at monday. What a pessimistic view for the rest of the week, seems like alcohol and partying is the only thing on their mind. I woke up several times in between 7 and 8.45. All showered in the next 30 mins, I performed my routine of checking mails and news. Headed out for class at ten till 10, and surveyed the damage caused by yesterday's gales. One of the trees lost its biggest branch but that was it apart from the sleep it stole from students in Murray. It almost blew me away atleast. We learnt about Crystal Field theory in transition elements. Some of the concepts that we covered, I should have remembered that but it seems like I don't remember some stuff from high school chemistry. That feeling is really horrible, the feeling of it being on the tip but unable to get the entire answer.. Then came the test answers I most dreaded, physics. I saw my paper and then saw I scored a 85. I then saw inside to see my mistakes. I felt like shooting myself or atleast breaking something. I made some of the stupidest mistakes in it! I wrote the Gauss's Law instead of Ampere's Law, that was moronic and careless. And I didnt read one of the questions completely and so lost 7 points on that alone. Knew the answer but didnt write it! That brought me down a complete level and then I also had to get my calculus test back. I let my thoughts wander while sitting out in the sun with Komal talking to her about her issues in life. She really has a complex life here or atleast she makes it tough although not consciously. Another person who I can think of isnt happy here is Mary. I wish I knew her before the winter break, come to think of it I did try to talk to her only to get a brick wall. I realized that she would probably be one of the most introverted people I have met so far. I am sad that she will be leaving Coe to study in Seattle. If she does leave, I will miss her a lot. Come calculus, got a 93 and saw that I did lose points where I thought I would. But then there were two other questions, one of them I realizd was not complete but the other one was right, atleast I thought so. It require an answer to prove that something was wrong. I gave that answer by proving that it was wrong and it gave an answer other than what he had said and henceforth didnt allow for his reasoning. A convergent series cannot be divergent! Anyway, I couldn't satisfy him and decided to drop it because it wasnt worth it. Got out of class and then to Deanna. I had to discuss the upcoming stuff in the I Club. We got a email from Greg telling us that we had done a less than adequate job of cleaning the PUB. Yikes! And we have to send an apology to Sandy who runs the PUB. We also contemplated the idea of introducing new exec members, another reason for this was that since we were loosing the Lounge, we don't need a Lounge Coordinator anymore, we needed a Publicity coordinator and a Webmaster for the I Club website. I need to talk to Katie about this. Anyway, I have called for a meeting this tuesday to give them a piece of my mind over the things that had to be done and weren't done. Im slowing getting sick of this. Now: I am chatting with my parents and will be heading for dinner anytime. Also, its been a wonderful day outside, sunny and bright and relatively pleasant!
The last two days were so sloooow..Saturday began at 10.45 with being gloomy due to the overcast conditions. Took a shower and somehow got my ass to eat, I was feeling really lethargic. And then I got back, and spent 4 hours in front of computer chatting and then eventually watching a movie. I tried calling Lara but yet again she wasn't there. I am getting the feeling that she doesn't want to talk to me although I don't know why or why she doesn't tell me outright to stop trying to contact her. It was Karishma's birthday as well and I tried calling but the call never went through. Then I slumped back to dinner at the caf and ate the unspecatular food and then hung out with Kristin for the rest of the evening. I watched Amelie with her (techically she fell asleep at 11 and the movie went on till 1). Although she did wake up a few times in the middle. I went back to my room and collapsed on my bed after a day of laziness. So, saturday served as my Sabbath.
Come Sunday, I am still sleeping at 11! Wake up to take a shower and lo behold! there they are at it again! Head exploding with unconstituitional words, I wait for 45 minutes before I get to the shower finally. Brunch was more like breakfast like usual. Got back to my room and worked on my chem lab writeup. I am sooo happy that this was the last lab and the only thing left is a lab quiz that I take on thursday! 4 hours past, finally finished it. And then, talked to my parents for a while. I hope dad is getting the info I need from the travel agent to book my ticket home. Talked to Manu and Doll, they are leaving for Australia first week of June. I feel really sad about this because I won't see them the next time I am in Hyderabad. They were my across the balcony buddies for 10 years, buddies for life. When time came to eat dinner, I couldn't find any of my friends I could have had my dinner with. So, I went ahead and ordered a pizza from Papa John's. I got it after two hours. Reason: I had turned the ringer volume on my phone all the way down by mistake. They had called me 10 times and came to the door four times and I didnt know! Anyway, when I finally did get it, I watched The Planet of the Apes. While eating, I thought that this was one of the worst movies I have seen and I was going to watch this in the theatre. What a waste that would have been! I studied for the chem test this week. The night passed with nothing else substantial happening. One thing did happen earlier that evening. While I was waiting for the pizza, Komal came in like a raging loony cursing Jeshica for locking her out of the room. These girls have had a history since school and haven't been able to work though them at all. I wonder why they stayed in the same room for a whole year. They hate each other to the core. I feel sad that people from the same country can't get along. One thing to point out is that both of them are stubborn and with short fuses. They were my first friends and now both of them have kind of distanced, Jeshica more than Komal. That night ended at 12 thinking about my performance on the tests on friday since they would surely be handed out on Monday.

Saturday, May 10, 2003

I was far too busy on Thursday and Friday to write a blog. freaking 3 hour chem lab and 4 hours of studying in the night....
My dream yesterday morning was a bad one, I had to travel back home and I forgot my ticket and passport. Woke up right when the helplessness and restlessness started becoming unbearable, it felt so freaking real! I hope to God this doesnt happen in real life. I always seem to have nightmares before tough or multiple tests...And if I read up right before the test, I feel unprepared... I hate that feeling. I couldn' pay much attention in chemistry due to the two tests looming over my head. Physics and Calc tests took some time to finish, especially calc because one of them was a question I spent 30 freaking minutes on and still couldn't figure it out! Anyway, I dont know how I've done because I am pretty poor at judging my performance in tests. I went over to Mary's room, she went home for the weekend. I am so jealous about that, they can go home whenever they want...Spent the next 4 hours organizing the I Club Party, I sometimes feel that I got a bunch of inept and incompetent exec ever. I never saw half of my exec when we were setting up the PUB. They tick me off so bad that I get the urge to break something. I must hand it to Kevin because he is by far the most hard working person in the exec, even I can't compare to him. Most of the girls don't have the dedication required for the job, I don't know why they do it when they don't have time for it. Music and every thing else got done in time thankfully. The party went very well, music was great! I danced a LOT, about 3 hours I'd say. I wonder if Mary would have had fun at this party if she were there for it. I realized parties are a good way to see who good friends are...After that I felt so alone, none of the people I had asked to come turned up. The number of real friends I have are so small, even though I know so many people. I realized most of them are superficial, they would never hang out with me on their own. Its times like this I miss Bhav so much that it is unbearable, leaves me on the verge of tears sometimes...The amount of care I had for some people has decreased so much, its sad. It isnt my fault though because they have distanced themselves from me. I watched High Crimes by myself last night after I got back, slept at 4! I can't believe that Jeshica slacked as well at the party preparations as well, she was hardly there for anything. Now, I don't know what to do. Kristin's busy, Jessi is going to the Sigma Nu formal and none else around.......

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Yesterday after dinner, we had the I Club meeting. I know I am going to have a tough time with my exec specially those three. I need to get power in the exec back to normal. Saadia was way off her rocker, it took quite some will power not to retort back and shut her up because that would be unpleasant. That left me bubbling under the calm exterior during dinner and some part of the evening. Rest of my evening was spent in front of my computer typing a paper for chem lab. I hate the amount of work this lab needs! 3 freaking hours for a 2 page scientifiv review! My eyes took quite some hit, they were red and watery by the time i was done. Then I took my pictures over to voorhees and showed Tara and Jenna the pictures from the Presidential Ball through Flunk Day. There were some awesome ones there. Crystal pointed out that I was pimping at Pres Ball (what ever that meant!). I spent the rest of the night at Mary and Kristen's room. I hope I am not intruding upon their privacy.. Ate pizza at 12! and then noticed it started raining cats and dogs, Iowa's weather is strange. It was 70 degrees all through with not a cloud in sky and then rains like hell.
Slept like a log through 8.15 today, but due to the snooze I ended up getting off my bed at 9. Got to the shower only to realize that the couple was in there again! Man, they have no common sense, girl, go to your freaking dorm and shower, not at an all-guys hall! I finally shaved, it feels so much better now without the stubble! Chem and physics passed without anything exciting happening. Now this might sound nerdy or geeky but I realized today in class that we radiate the entire spectrum from radio to gamma ray frequencies! To me that was stupendous. I had my lunch with Becky. She is still mad after reading my essay, I must have really ticked her off in my paper. She tells me that it is very offensive towards Christianity! I need to talk to her about this and make the essay better. I went over to Jessi's to see how she was doing. She apparently played "mud slide" in the quad yesterday in the rain! She had a lot of bruises from that. I wonder why people do such silly things at times, must be a lot of kid involved:-). Talked to pi for a while while doing calc, she seems to have a lot going on in her life and hope she gets through it fine. I wonder if Bhav got my package yet, it should have reached her last week! And she had chicken pox now! I feel so sorry for her, I wish I was there for her then. Lets see how the rest of the evenign goes. I need to study for calc today and give finishing touches to chem and write up the last chem lab of the year! wooo-hooo! And get my hon comp anthology in order with fine tuning help from Becky tonight..

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Hi Blogger world! This will be my very first blog. Few of my friends here write blogs daily religiously and I decided to give it a spin.
Today started the same way it it does every other day. I wonder sometimes if the Snooze option is a boon or a bane? But, it seems to work well with me. I seemed to have slacked towards reaching my morning classes on time. I can't figure out why and when it became to be a bit tardy. Most of the time, I am a strickler to time, I always get to places either early or right in the the do. I was so glad that my morning lab in physics was easy. I hate long labs plus I seem to do well on theory but lose my touch in practical applications:(. Got to my other class only to see that it was cancelled. I think we needed the class today because we have a 3 essay anthology due next tuesday and I needed to workshop my essays. When I was heading towards Voorhees to show the girls my pictures when I noticed a group of girls in the far side of my eye, and I paused when one of them recognized me and waved. I headed over there to see most of my Honors Composition class sitting on the walkway discussing their papers and why the class today was crucial. Anyway, I sat down and listen to them ramble on, they were panicking although they are all excellent writers. Jessi feels like an outsider in this group she said because she can't connect to a lot of the students there. She thinks she isnt a very good writer, but I think otherwise. I have seen a very good introduction in everyone of her essays. Thats a skill I wish I had while writing my essays. I got back and then gave finishing touches to my chem paper due tomorrow. Lunch was nothing exciting, chicken wraps! Ineed some variation in my diet! I sat outside talking to Komal..I wish I would see her more often. I miss the kind of friendship we had in the beginning of the year.... But since then, I am happy that I have met some great people, people who are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Scene at calc was the same, Jon teaching and me on the computer using the net, perking my head up everytime he talks about something new. And then head back down when he is repeating himself. How much ever bored I get in his class, I would never trade him for another math prof in a million years. I finally got all my scanned pix on the yahoo and fototime! Now when I got back to my room, I realized that I had some free time and tried so see if any of my friends were free but alas! didnt find anyone!! I called Lara because I haven't talked to her for ages and she wasn't in either (damn!). I then contemplated going over to Mary's room but she had to write a paper for class and I didn't want to disturb her, so I am now stuck in my room for a while. I have no clue where my friends dissappear sometimes. I hate the feeling I get then of being alone. I miss Bhavya soo much. I miss her voice, laugh and "What else?".