Saturday, May 07, 2005

universal balance?

I guess I kinda believe in symmetry of things. Yin & Yang, particle & anti-particle, light & darkness. Opposites. When people are cruel or mean especially to me, I return the gesture back in different ways. I always do something to balance about my negative feelings about things. If you do something bad, you'll either hear about it or I do something to get back at you. Otherwise, these emotions fester inside me and I hate that feeling. I feel restless and moody. I much rather either talk about it or subject the person to situations where I had the sour feeling just to show them how it feels..

But I don't know if that's a good thing. There are people who still have stuff coming to them. I just haven't gotten around to it. I just hope talking solves the problem.

Now comes my problem. I'm not that mean. I can never go through with the plans I have in my mind. I usually cave in because otherwise I would feel bad/guilty later. I just can't be oblivious to things I do because I can see how the other person is feeling. I just can't be mean. sigh

I wish people were more considerate.

[Listening to: Be My Escape - Relient K - Mmhmm (4:00)]

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