Tuesday, August 02, 2005

what a summer it has been so far. i can't imagine how quickly it has gone by. but then, why won't it seem like that? with everything that has been going on, it's only natural to feel that way. this is my last summer here. italy, visiting family and friends, hanging out with friends at Coe, keeping in touch with buddies who are elsewhere, travelling to get stuff done. I haven't much downtime really. And now I will be leaving Coe for a semester. leaving familiar grounds into the unknown to be around people i have never met. and it's bound to be the most novel experience during my coe career. doing research with nationally renowned scientist in a field that has such tremendous potential in the future is a luxury a few people have especially undergrads like me. this semester should get me well on the way to grad school as it will show me the inner working of research in nano technology. maybe i am expecting too much from this semester. all i know is that i am going to work hard. harder than i have ever worked before to get the most of this invaluable oppurtunity.

but this summer has not been all highs. the lows have been pretty trivial though. the friendship that turned sour is still sour and there isn't anyway that is getting fixed either. oh well. even though our friendship was so short lived, I'm glad that i got to know her. And of course, the other failed attempt to a new friendship. I think my first failed attempt ever! i have no idea what happened. it happened in the beginning of research and i thought time would help. no! what i realized was that never let anything fester over time, it doesn't get better with time either. I did try to fix it by talking and apologizing but that didn't work. Well, what else can I do? So, i guess it's out of my control. It's a good thing I haven't had a lot of downtime. It kept me from thinking and rethinking about these things. well, i'm a ponderer.

which brings me to another thing i'm hoping i will not ponder over. All the people I will miss next semester and year, and perhaps beyond. I will be seeing Andi some more over the next 3 weeks. I won't see Britta till December when i get back from Oak Ridge. Same with Sean, Kelly, and Hannah. I will see Komal when she gets back for RA training. I am going to miss my friends a lot because IM and phone is not the same as seeing them in person. No more late nights with Britta. After 10 days, no more swing with Andi. We brought out the best in each other. It's hard to imagine that I won't see Andi for such a long time. My first love. But hey, I did make a few new acquaintances. A few freshmen.

All I need to do at Oak Ridge and beyond is watch what i say. First impressions are important. I can't afford to be awkward with anyone at Oak Ridge. But I will be my friendly self.

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