Friday, December 10, 2004

how do people deal with frustration?

I don't know how to deal with my frustration about a lot of things at Coe. I could just take an easy way out and drop stuff but I'm not like that. I take the hard route and try to fix things or work it out. But what if things are not in my control? I have had very intense emotions lately, it deters me from concentrating. Math frustrates me a lot. Real has been a rough ride. Stuff like Q2b in Ex1.26 drives me crazy at no ends. If I can't solve questions, it torments me. I remember spending 7 hours on a stupid physics problem and then when I get back in the night before sleeping. I take a last crack at it and then I solved it in a few minutes. All I had to do was reverse engineer the answer! When things frustrate me, I think about it all the freaking time.
         I know it's bad to let things in the way but I seem powerless. I am also weak willed at times. I know I can say no but when the situations arise, I always give in and say yes. There are times I didn't want to do things but I did them anyway to keep the other person happy. I think I care too much about people. Sometimes I just want to be happy without things on my mind. It has happened a few times, a few blissfully happy moments. I can count on my finger tips how many times I have been so happy and worry-less that I didn't know what to do with myself. Jessi's in the summer, Chicago in fall break and Amanda's at Thanksgiving were some situations where I had a lot of fun. Maybe I need to look in other places to remove my frustration. Playing RB helps some because I can wack the ball and it's a physical outlet. I have tried running but it never works. I need to be calm to run otherwise I start breathing patterns change.. Talking helps too. I'm glad I have friends who I can talk to and clear my head.
         I'm going to miss Jessi and Jenna next semester. I miss Kristin and Mary a lot. I miss talking to Bhav. I miss my family. I want someone to love and cherish me the way I do. I want to see Sonal. I want my friends from home to come here and study. I miss Eisha, Vandy and Shonali.

         On a little more upbeat tone, atleast Kit and I got my digital electronics lab done finally after a week of stagnation. I have 3 finals next week and then I'm going home on Saturday!! It will be the time to sit back and relax and study some and re-evaluate my priorities and make my mind mentally strong for the tough semester ahead.

[Listening to: Track 3 - All American Rejects - Unknown Album (3:57)]

No comments: