I know it's bad to let things in the way but I seem powerless. I am also weak willed at times. I know I can say no but when the situations arise, I always give in and say yes. There are times I didn't want to do things but I did them anyway to keep the other person happy. I think I care too much about people. Sometimes I just want to be happy without things on my mind. It has happened a few times, a few blissfully happy moments. I can count on my finger tips how many times I have been so happy and worry-less that I didn't know what to do with myself. Jessi's in the summer, Chicago in fall break and Amanda's at Thanksgiving were some situations where I had a lot of fun. Maybe I need to look in other places to remove my frustration. Playing RB helps some because I can wack the ball and it's a physical outlet. I have tried running but it never works. I need to be calm to run otherwise I start breathing patterns change.. Talking helps too. I'm glad I have friends who I can talk to and clear my head.
I'm going to miss Jessi and Jenna next semester. I miss Kristin and Mary a lot. I miss talking to Bhav. I miss my family. I want someone to love and cherish me the way I do. I want to see Sonal. I want my friends from home to come here and study. I miss Eisha, Vandy and Shonali.
On a little more upbeat tone, atleast Kit and I got my digital electronics lab done finally after a week of stagnation. I have 3 finals next week and then I'm going home on Saturday!! It will be the time to sit back and relax and study some and re-evaluate my priorities and make my mind mentally strong for the tough semester ahead.
[Listening to: Track 3 - All American Rejects - Unknown Album (3:57)]