Sunday, August 15, 2004

The end of my first relationship

Andi and me broke up a couple of nights back. I knew it was coming and she knew that it would happen soon. The relationship lacked the most important thing needed for it to work. Mutual love. She didn't like me the way I liked her. She liked me more like a friend than a boyfriend. What can I say? There is nothing I can do to make her feel the way I would like her to feel. And both of us gave up on the relationship during summer but didn't vocalize it enough for a breakup. And so we broke up right after I told her that I loved her. Didn't expect it to end so quickly after the three words. These lyrics are what always came to mind when I thought about her and how she felt about me.

This is an snippet of the "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon.

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

It was good to talk to my parents about this. It just feels like this huge gaping empty hole in my heart. She was a person I could always fall back on and now that feeling is gone. I don't know what to do around her anymore. I don't know what I want. I want to get over her since she made it ample clear there is no chance of us dating again in the future. I want someone to like/love me and care about me the way I care about them. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask?

1 comment:

Frilly said...

It's only your first relationship... don't worry there are many more out there. I know it's not reassuring now, but all those other fish in the sea are looking for a hook!